200+ Funny & Creative Weight Loss Jokes

Looking for the funniest weight loss jokes to make dieting a little lighter? You’re in the right place!

This collection of 200+ funny and creative weight loss jokes will keep you laughing while thinking about fitness and healthy living.

Whether you’re on a diet, hitting the gym, or just love a good laugh about calories, these jokes are perfect for sharing with friends or keeping motivation fun.

The Benefits of Sharing Weight Loss Jokes

• Boosts Motivation: Laughing about weight loss makes healthy habits feel less like a chore.

• Relieves Stress: Funny jokes reduce tension and make diet struggles more enjoyable.

• Builds Connections: Sharing jokes about fitness and dieting strengthens friendships and support groups.

• Adds Fun: Lighthearted jokes keep workouts, meal prep, and healthy choices entertaining.

Funny Weight Loss Jokes

1. I tried a new diet… it’s called “eat whatever you want and cry about it later.”

2. I lost weight once… then found it in the cookie jar.

3. My scale and I are in a complicated relationship — it keeps weighing me down.

4. I joined a gym… to use the Wi-Fi and take selfies.

5. I’m on a seafood diet — I see food, and I eat it.

6. Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!

7. I told my trainer I wanted to slim down… he laughed and handed me a donut.

8. I’m not overweight, I’m just under-tall.

9. My favorite cardio is running… out of patience.

10. I lost ten pounds! Then I found five in the fridge.

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Cute Weight Loss Jokes

1. I lost a pound today… but my cat gained two from watching me snack.

2. My scale and I are best friends… we both love surprises.

3. I’m on a diet… but cupcakes keep flirting with me.

4. Exercise is easier when your dog joins for moral support.

5. I tried a smoothie diet… and accidentally made a milkshake.

6. My treadmill and I have a love-hate relationship… mostly love when I nap on it.

7. I told my snack, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

8. I counted my steps today… mostly to the fridge.

9. My salad smiled at me… then I added cheese.

10. I went jogging with a friend… we both agreed naps were better.

Cool Weight Loss Jokes

1. I lift weights… mainly the weight of my grocery bags.

2. My scale is cooler than me — it always gives me the cold hard truth.

3. I run like the wind… mostly when I hear the ice cream truck.

4. I’m on a diet so cool, even my fridge is impressed.

5. My treadmill and I have a cool relationship… I ignore it, it ignores me.

6. I lost weight… but my attitude stayed heavy.

7. I jog with style… sunglasses on, sweat optional.

8. Exercise is cool… until I realize I have to move.

9. I keep my gym membership for the A/C.

10. I flexed today… and the fridge flexed back.

Good Weight Loss Jokes

1. I decided to eat healthy… right after one last donut.

2. My scale told me a joke today… I didn’t laugh.

3. I lost weight… mostly from laughing at myself.

4. I joined a gym… to look busy while scrolling my phone.

5. My salad is good… but cake is better.

6. I burned 200 calories… by yelling at my treadmill.

7. I tried portion control… then ate the portions I didn’t control.

8. My favorite workout is lifting pizza slices.

9. I ran a mile today… in my dreams.

10. My fridge and I have a complicated relationship… mostly good.

Best Weight Loss Jokes

1. I lost weight once… but then found it hiding in the cookie jar.

2. I’m on a new diet: see food and share it with friends.

3. My gym membership is the best… at collecting dust.

4. I burned 500 calories today… from laughing at weight loss jokes.

5. I tried intermittent fasting… mostly from my patience.

6. My treadmill and I had a race… and the couch won.

7. I told my salad a joke… it still didn’t make me laugh.

8. I started a diet… and my fridge started a rebellion.

9. I run like a champion… from responsibilities.

10. I lift weights… occasionally, when the pizza box is heavy.

Knock Knock Weight Loss Jokes

1. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Lettuce.
   Lettuce who?
   Lettuce eat healthy and laugh at calories!

2. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Kale.
   Kale who?
   Kale me crazy, but I love this diet joke!

3. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Olive.
   Olive who?
   Olive trying to lose weight… one joke at a time.

4. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Peas.
   Peas who?
   Peas give me a donut instead of kale!

5. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Broccoli.
   Broccoli who?
   Broccoli me to the gym… I’m running late!

6. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Banana.
   Banana who?
   Banana split… because diets are hard.

7. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Quinoa.
   Quinoa who?
   Quinoa laugh at this weight loss joke with me?

8. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Spinach.
   Spinach who?
   Spinach my way to the fridge anyway.

9. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Carrot.
   Carrot who?
   Carrot believe I ran to the gym today!

10. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Peach.
    Peach who?
    Peach your diet goals… and then grab a cookie.

Smart Weight Loss Jokes

1. I eat cake strategically… after calculating emotional ROI.

2. My gym plan is smart: lift a fork, then a glass of water.

3. I lost weight in my mind first… that’s half the battle.

4. I count calories like a mathematician… but I round up for ice cream.

5. My scale is smart — it knows when to give me bad news.

6. I run… mental marathons while eating snacks.

7. I measure success in smiles… not pounds.

8. My salad is clever — it hides chocolate inside.

9. I use logic to diet: if it tastes amazing, it’s probably worth it.

10. I track workouts… mostly to brag, not burn calories.

Professional Weight Loss Jokes

1. I approached dieting like a CEO… delegated snacks to someone else.

2. My workout plan is very professional… it involves a chair and spreadsheets.

3. I take my gym sessions seriously… serious enough to check the Wi-Fi speed.

4. My diet strategy is boardroom-approved… cookies excluded.

5. I manage my calories like a professional… mostly by ignoring them.

6. I applied professional standards… to balancing cake and kale.

7. My treadmill meeting is scheduled… but rescheduled every day.

8. I execute weight loss plans… with minimal effort and maximum excuses.

9. I gave a professional presentation… on why dessert is essential.

10. My gym contract is professional… I pay and rarely attend.

Other Weight Loss Jokes

1. I tried a diet… but the fridge started giving me side-eye.

2. My favorite exercise is “running out of excuses.”

3. I burned calories today… by laughing at my own diet plan.

4. I lifted weights… mainly the grocery bags from the car.

5. My salad and I had a disagreement… the chocolate won.

6. I walked past the bakery… and accidentally turned it into cardio.

7. I tried a juice cleanse… and cleansed my patience instead.

8. I counted steps today… mostly to reach the cookie jar.

9. I joined a gym… for the air conditioning.

10. My treadmill is polite… it pretends not to notice me skipping.

Different Weight Loss Jokes

1. I tried a new diet… but it was allergic to me.

2. My treadmill and I have a love-hate relationship… mostly love to ignore it.

3. I burned calories laughing… mostly at my own reflection.

4. I weighed myself today… and we agreed to disagree.

5. I joined a fitness class… just for the socializing.

6. My fridge applauds me every time I close the door without snacking.

7. I run marathons… in my imagination.

8. I started a diet… then my chocolate staged a comeback.

9. My scale is honest… brutally honest.

10. I lifted weights… that were actually cupcakes.
    

Weird Weight Loss Jokes

1. I tried a diet… but my fridge started plotting against me.

2. I ran so fast today… I ended up in my neighbor’s garden.

3. My treadmill asked me why I keep ignoring it… I said, “existential crisis.”

4. I burned calories… by yelling at my salad.

5. I tried yoga… but the cat claimed my mat as its throne.

6. My scale and I have trust issues… it keeps lying for fun.

7. I counted steps today… mostly in circles around my living room.

8. I ran a marathon… in my dreams, and won.

9. I tried a smoothie diet… but the blender rebelled.

10. My dumbbells are plotting… to roll away when I approach.

Dirty and Naughty Weight Loss Jokes

1. I lost weight… mostly after running away from my responsibilities.

2. My salad is sexy… if you squint and ignore the dressing.

3. I burned calories… by laughing at the naughty dessert section.

4. I joined a gym… for the cute trainer, not the workout.

5. My cheat day got wild… with a chocolate rebellion.

6. I tried a plank… and flirted with gravity instead.

7. My treadmill and I had a hot date… until it judged me.

8. I lifted weights… mostly to impress my reflection.

9. My smoothie is scandalous… mostly chocolate and a little guilt.

10. I ran… straight into the bakery.